06 Dec Motherhood set off a dream in me…
I knew when I would have a child that my life would change exponentially.
We all know it does.
We definitely don’t know to what extent it changes, nor are we really ever prepared for it.
The biggest shock I had, as my daughter went from newborn to vibrant baby was this burning desire in me that something in my life was missing.
I remember feeling like I needed more to my life and I still remember the guilt I felt. I was mortified with myself that I was feeling this way but I couldn’t shake this yearning in me.
I was due to return to work in a couple of months time and the thought alone ate at me. I didn’t want to leave my precious girl to go back to a job I didn’t enjoy, where my passion was lost and my desire to be ambitious was dead.
This was a far cry from the pre-baby me, a massive far cry.
Not only had I lost my ambition, but I lost my identity, I lost my ability to see and have joy, other than for my daughter. I was lost in a bubble which would burst at any moment and I knew that a change was desperately needed.
The full blow of my lost self came to fruition when I returned to work. I was a well oiled robot, navigating the hamster wheel of life as a working mum. The expectations of how I should be, ate me up and spat me out, several times over.
I knew I couldn’t carry on like this any longer and I knew I needed to change…
But gee, I had no idea how too.
I sought refuge in my running and used that as my inspiration and motivation to stay sane and well, but even then that started to become a chore.
It wasn’t until I heard a quote on a podcast that I thought, that’s it. It was something along the lines of “if I have to be away from my child to work, then I want to be away from her doing something I love and enjoy” This struck a massive chord for me and made me sit up and reassess my life.
I revisited the things I enjoyed. I wrote a list of the work I could do. I analysed what I enjoyed and what I didn’t enjoy doing at work and at home.
And it was in that moment that I realised starting my own business was my stepping stone to my long lost ambition, passion and meaning. I wanted to make an impact, I wanted to be a actionable role model for my daughter and I wanted to live life how I wanted to for my family and for me.
I didn’t know what starting a business looked like, but I knew that I had to gather my past experience, skills, knowledge and my passion and explore this idea of me as a business mum… and 3 years on I haven’t looked back.
If you have a desire to start your own business or make a shift in your career, feel free to check out how you can work with me here